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Clown Shoes

by Jason Jones

(Extracts)

"Granddad where are you?" Ed looked as he shouted Then walked up the stairs that he’d already counted "I’m here in the attic, I’ve found my old things Climb up the stairs if you haven’t got wings." Granddad was daft, he said silly rhymes He couldn’t add up or tell you the time But that didn’t matter to Edward at all Ed liked his granddad and followed his call. Up in the attic was an old leather chest Granddad found in it his old Sunday best "This suit that I’m wearing, it’s been here for years I’ve found my old things, come and look over here." Edward walked over to granddad and looked Down at the things, he reached in and took A black and white picture from out of the mess As old pictures go it wasn’t the best. "Who is this, granddad?" Ed asked the old man Granddad took it and gave it a scan "Can’t you tell who that good looking chap is? Maybe you need to borrow my glasses." Edward looked hard and started to frown "How can I tell when he’s dressed as a clown?" Granddad said "Ed, I’ll give you a clue, There’s a box in here somewhere, I’ll have a look through." So granddad took out a small wooden box Fished out a key and opened the lock He said "Peepers shut now for this small surprise Then when I tell you, open your eyes." Edward was thinking ‘What could it be?’ That was so important for a lock and a key ‘Could it be jewels or a special gold ring?’ shire Inside that small box, what was hiding?

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"All right then Ed, on the count of three Open your eyes, then you will see." Granddad then counted, eyes open not closed Ed blinked at his granddad, he had a red nose. Ed looked at granddad, then at the picture "Granddad, are you that funny looking mister?" "Well done Edward, I knew you would see The clown in the picture, that used to be me." "Here in this chest I stored all the things That I used to wear and my juggling rings. There’s this old red nose, my make up and wig My clown shoes as well, now they’re really big. My spinning bow tie, my long red braces There’s a book here called ‘How to pull funny faces’." They carefully took out all of the clothes Laid them out in one neat row Hat at the top then spinning bow tie Colourful shirt to catch the eye. Braces on top and big baggy pants Stripy socks too that fell down when you danced Then at last, the big brown shoes Ed thought to himself ‘Now those I could use.’ ‘I’d win every race from miles away First over the line by a shoe every day The high jump would be even easier still I’ll just lean forward and be high as a hill.’ ‘No one will ever score goals passed me Being the keeper will be so easy I’ll stop all the penalty kicks with my feet Wiggle my toes and keep a clean sheet.’ The long jump will be a more difficult sport I’ll keep one foot down just for support Stretch out my leg as far as I can Then, turn my foot sideways to dip in the sand.’  

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‘Maybe I’ll win an Olympic gold medal Everyone else will just have to settle For silver or bronze, as they’re all going to lose To me and my brilliant sporty clown shoes.’ While Edward daydreamed of being the champ Granddad had switched on a bright table lamp Then sat on a chair with a book on his knee Edward looked then went over to see. "This is an album full of old pictures Of people I knew, some brothers and sisters They all performed in the circus with me Why don’t you sit on my other knee?" Granddad picked up the book of pics The old album when opened, creaked and it clicked. "You didn’t know I once was a clown, My circus would travel from town to town Night after night we made the crowds roar We worked very hard and got great applause. The picture of me you saw belongs here Right on this page it’s supposed to appear."

Granddad tells Edward about himself and the other clowns, the midget clowns, Jack ‘Tiny’ Jones- The World’s Strongest Man, Max the Lion Tamer with Fluffy the Lion. He asks Ed if he’s bored now but the young lad pleads with him to carry on.

"More granddad, don’t stop now It’s only seven, until eight I’m allowed To be up before bedtime so please go on Show me the next page you must carry on." "A couple more then I’ll need my rest I can’t remember who comes next. Here we go then, lets take a look And see who’s left in this picture book." Looking down at the turned page Before Edward had a chance to say The words out loud just like before Granddad read them straight and sure. 

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"The Great Barrelli, human cannonball Of all the acts his was strangest of all Who would want to be shot from cannon? Not knowing where or what you would land on." In the photo Barrelli stood Next to the cannon so that he could Put his hand on the back and look quite proud Of his circus act that banged really loud. He wore a helmet with two red stripes Straight down the middle, the rest was plain white Around his neck was a pair of goggles At the end of his pants were a couple of toggles. He’d pull them tight to stop the blast Going inside as the air rushed passed His padded jacket was dirty not clean It wouldn’t scrub white in his washing machine. The ringmaster would call him out for the show But the Great Barrelli didn’t know Being shot from a cannon for many years Was such a loud bang it wore out his ears. Barrelli by now was deaf as a door He couldn’t hear his call to the floor So I would stand by and listen for him Then tell him when his act should begin. I tapped his shoulder, Barrelli walked out But he couldn’t hear the crowd clap or shout The clowns then rolled the cannon forward Shoving and pushing, it was heavy and awkward. "Thank you," the great Barrelli would shout "Clowns now turn my cannon about. Point it up nice and high In a moment I shall soar through the sky."      

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People clapped as Barrelli stepped on A ladder to get up and into the cannon Wave at the crowd, still clapping loud Feet down the gun, explosion to come! Across the ring the clowns would set Barrelli’s target, a safety net. There to catch him when he fell from the air Landing quite neatly in the net placed with care. "Now I am ready," Barrelli called "Fire the cannon, gunpowder Paul." Paul would pull on a rope at the side With a great bang, the cannon fired. Through the smoke Barrelli flew Into the air straight and true Arms by his sides, legs straight as sticks Hands down flat on top of his hips. Landing down in the middle of the net Barrelli had flown at the speed of a jet At last he stood and took a bow But still couldn’t hear the cheer of the crowd. Gunpowder Paul was Barrelli's assistant He filled the cannon to shoot a great distance One day though Paul wasn’t there The gunpowder slot in the cannon was bare. The circus phone rang, I picked it up It was Gunpowder Paul, he’d had enough. "My ears are worn out, to talk, I now shout, My grandfathers ill and i've caught a chill I need a new job just to pay my gas bill!" So that was it for Gunpowder Paul, He never came back to the circus at all He hung up the phone, so I did the same "Alberto!" I shouted Barrelli’s first name "Does anyone know where Alberto has gone?" I said out loud then asked one by one.  

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At last I found him sat on a bale Of hay near the horses, reading his mail. "I’m sorry Alberto to spoil your week," I sat down as I started to speak I tried to tell him "It’s Gunpowder Paul." He said "Six feet four, I’m really that tall." I had forgotten that he couldn’t hear His lip reading skills weren’t very clear I told him "Paul won’t work here again." He asked "What do you mean, were on at half ten?" I said "You-need-a-new-a-ssis-tant." He said "Yes, my coat is weather resistant." I borrowed his pen to write it down As clear as i could for a circus clown He slowly read what Paul had said Looked at me and nodded his head. "I’ll get a replacement, that’s what I’ll do," Barrelli told me "but nobody new, I think I know who’ll do it instead I'll call Paul’s brother, Firecracker Fred." Firecracker Fred had hair of bright red With a shape just the same as a candles hot flame Everyone thought he was mad as a hatter He’d walk along and constantly chatter To himself but out loud, though no one was listening People would say his marbles were missing. Fred used to work in demolition Blowing up buildings when he had permission He’d knock them down all over town The falling of bricks was his favourite sound. Still Alberto insisted we call Fred on the phone to replace Paul "Hello," shouted Fred as he answered quite quick "Fred," said Alberto "you’re brother is sick."    

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"Come to the circus and work for me Each time you do, I’ll give you Ten P’." That was good money, in the old days Of black and white films, seaside holidays. Fred said "Twelve pence and you’ve got a deal." Alberto shouted "Who’s a fat, blobby seal?" I took the phone before things got silly "No problem Fred, we’ll pay you the money." We both said goodbye, but I was worried To get an assistant Alberto had hurried But not thought it through about who he’d hired To fill the cannon and make it fire. As soon as Fred arrived at the circus I took him to see the cannon without fuss He checked the slot where the gunpowder went And looked around the big top tent. He asked Alberto "Where do you land?" Alberto said "I don’t play in a band." "The clowns bring out a safety net," I told Fred "it’s not up just yet." "Just over there before the front row That’s where Alberto is supposed to go." I pointed out to Fred the spot The net would be for the cannons shot. "Don’t worry," said Fred "I’ll put plenty in If there’s any left, it will go in the bin I’ll make sure he flies from here to there It will be spectacular when he shoots through the air. That night, as usual, the circus began Fred was ready to go out and stand Next to the cannon to shoot Alberto Into the air when he said so. "Ladies and gentlemen, for you one and all The Great Barrelli, Human Cannonball!" The ringmaster told the waiting crowd Who was next, then took a bow.

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I tapped Barrelli, he walked out with Fred While putting his helmet onto his head Fred filled the gunpowder slot With far too much for Barrellis' shot.

Inside the cannon Barrelli said "You may fire when ready, Firecracker Fred." Fred pulled the string, the cannon boomed With a cloud of smoke shaped like a mushroom. The end of the cannon had bent and split Like a pointy star with a bend in it Firecracker Fred’s hair of bright red Was black and smoking on top of his head His face was coloured the same as his hair His two bushy eyebrows were no longer there. But where was Barrelli? Did he land in the net? The smoke was too thick to find him yet When the air cleared he had disappeared Through a hole in the tent Where the moon shone through clear. Fred had used too much powder It was no surprise the bang was louder Barrelli was blown straight up and through The big top ceiling, what could I do? The clowns and I ran outside To find Barrelli, if he was alive "Alberto, where are you?" the clowns all shouted To hear him call out was what we wanted. After a while of searching and shouting In the darkness I saw something moving "Alberto?" I called to the moving shadow "Help me." He said. I knew who it was now. Shining my torch to see where he’d landed When I got closer to me he handed His broken helmet that had split in half Then I smelled where he was and started to laugh.  

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"It’s soft where I’ve landed, but I don’t know the place." I couldn’t stop laughing at the dirt on his face. "Help me up," Barrelli asked "I’ve no broken bones from that mega-blast." "I’m not sure how to tell this to you," I said "Alberto, you’ve landed in poo!" In their cages the animals slept The floors we had already swept All the muck we had taken away Then dumped in a lump to melt in the rain. That was where Barrelli had dropped In a steaming heap of animal plop I gave him my hand to pull him free Barrelli was looking very angry. "I smell awful although I’m alive." Barrelli said as we stepped back inside The circus big top to a great big cheer "Thank you," he shouted "yes, I’m still here." Firecracker Fred knew what he’d done When no-one was looking he started to run Away from the circus before he was caught By angry Alberto and me of course. Barrelli looked at the broken cannon I asked him if he would buy a new one He said "It’s no time for a dance and a sing song, My cannon is broken, I need a brand new one." Forgetting Fred as we walked away From the broken cannon and very strange day Barrelli had gone through with me by his side Planning tomorrow, a new cannon to buy."